Lisa Wenninger-Speaker/Writer-Faith, Family Addiction, Mental Health
I play the 'forget game' to move on. Forget what they did, forget what they said, forget the pain, forget the abuse, forget the porn, forget the drinking. I work so hard to forget, I never allow myself to heal.
When I am bound by bipolar, I fear movement. I cast this unimaginable shadow over myself that darkens with each passing day. I proved this earlier this month when I looked out my office window and noticed the sun.
For some, the safe love is for their own heart and wellness- because the stress of their loved one’s addiction has caused true illness- heart disease, high blood pressure, mental illness due to-anxiety, drastic mood shifts, and mental sickness from the occasional life saved from overdose, right there in your living room or bathroom.
..”I allowed myself to die before I am dead.”.. This is the raw truth of being done. Finding yourself at a place of hopelessness and fighting for the will to carry on.
I am a parent of an adult loved one battling substance use. For years I fought alongside, tried to motivate, and lent help in any way I could. I have paid bills- sometimes for months, I have posted bail, bought groceries, clothes, and other items. I opened my home in hopes of change. But the desire for change was outplayed by the desire to be high.
It can take years for a mother to recognize codependency in herself. So much of what it entails looks like just being a mom.
I know the doubt, fear, and frustration in managing the symptoms of bipolar. If I prayed long and hard enough, I thought I would be healed, cured, and labeled a miracle. So far, that has not happened. I am still balancing bipolar, but with a new understanding of my mind.
The abuse left a stain on her tender heart, and her mind twisted from the games of an evil man. Worse, she felt dirty and unnecessary, like a garage rag that came in handy but was left lying around like trash.
God's love will lead us to step aside. His parenting must come first.
Through the storm..We can find peace.
Best Motivational Speeches
Grace for Today. Hope for Tomorrow.
Amateur Artist, Amateur writer, Professional Amateur
"When I am writing, I am trying to find out who I am..." --Maya Angelou
Life
Healthy Living in Action!
This is a Ministry of Oasis Bible Ministry, a Fundamental Full-Gospel Bible Teaching Ministry
Authentic Truths 