I get it now. Life is a constant flow of energy. We breathe in God's love, and we pass it on to others. The endless waterfall is fueled by Him and not by us.
I don't want to be this person. This early aging woman. I don't know how to change this trajectory, or how to embrace it.
I worked through the mystery of saying goodbye years ago. Those were difficult days. I was lost in the differences between my two roles-mom to kids and mom to adults. I'm no longer confused.
As my son made his way to 18, I thought it was all coming to an end. As though my status as mom would be revoked and I had to apply for a new one.