Now parents are planning their kid's funerals. I have not physically done it, but I can confirm the thoughts have haunted me. As the tears fell from my eyes, my heart broke for her children. How would I tell them their mother was gone? I ran through an entire scenario that hadn't happened yet.
Hindsight leads to insight, and if I knew then, what I know now, it would be a different ballgame. It may not change the outcome because the one lesson I know better than any is I can never change another human's mind. I do not own that power.
Today, I admit my loss, and it's not you, it is me. My identify is gone, and my will to live is slowly dwindling to nothing. I moved from the joy of living to hate of breathing.
Stepping into Done
I am filled day and night with a fear I cannot shake. People die every day from one last high. We saw that in December. Living in this fear is trying.
There was relief
In the final sigh..
When surrender felt
Like breath of life..