In one night, one moment, the reflection in the mirror was lying. Because while it was my face, my hair, and my body, it was never me.
They may not realize how harsh and insensitive they are, or maybe I don’t realize how sensitive and irrational I am being, but there’s a bit of a conflict in this relationship!
While the many hours of training were meant to train me in the many aspects of Christian caring, they also provided me with much insight and an in depth understanding of myself. It opened doors to accept who I am, challenge myself to be assertive in areas I’ve never been, and to love myself from within.
This act of hate represents a much deeper issue within the heart of one man. A deeper issue revolving around the movements that Americans choose to be part of. The issues revolving around evil and uncivilized hatred, bigotry, racism.
Every night I thought of the guns, or pills, or even the rafters in the garage. I thought of dying more than I thought of living. Death just seemed easier. It may sound selfish to someone on the outside, it may be, but my will to live was slipping away.
We, as parents, don’t get a pass, a do over, or a life line. We are here, in the midst of not only our life and choices, but their life and their choices, whether or not we accepted the invitation, or signed on the dotted line of less than stellar decision making.
I won’t continue to feel beat up by a past that hurt me, ridiculed me, took advantage of me, shamed me and tossed me away. I will not hold back the gentle truth, no matter how harsh it is. I will not give up on people simply because they choose to give up on me. I will not be that person...
They may not be familiar with the battles they face, but they are familiar with who fights for us in the face of our battles.
I am a woman with faith.