Through my doubt and fear, He will raise a mighty voice for those left feeling voiceless, powerless, and lost in a Christian world that works differently than they do.
Why do I write and speak on the topic of mental health, namely bipolar disorder?
I follow a few social media style support networks for Christians with depression, and it baffles me that in 2020 we still hear the misguided answer that the devil is living in us through this mental illness. Allow me to correct this with calm words on a screen, as in person, it may get heated.
This is the seesaw of bipolar, the ups and downs of a bipolar mind. We fight to carry on. Some days consist of fighting deep, dark thoughts. Other days, our strength lead the way through chaos..
Sitting at work like, "Was I even here in December. When did the sun come back? What just happened to 2019, was I even in it?"
From far away, things look regular and routine. However, up close, you see the jagged edges and broken pieces of a shattered soul. When I step into myself, I face a stranger.
Who wins when all is lost?
The world's vision of bipolar or other mental illnesses, is narrow and incomplete. My prayer is that one day the stigma will evaporate and truth will prevail.
Tonight I remember Amy Bleuel, founder of Project Semicolon. She was the voice for many. Her encouragement and dedication to the fight against suicide was empowering.
She grew tired and lost her battle. On this night, I get it.
And sorrow cascades in a hushed certainty.
Fading in and out of reality.
And joy evades, and hope carries away..
what is sure to come again on a better day.