I believe in His mighty ways, but I wonder who I ticked off. These irrational thoughts lead back to my religious beginnings of doing more rather than being enough.
Without loyalty and respect in the center of all actions, you are not practicing self-reliance or independence. Without those essential parts, you are practicing selfishness.
I never intended to lose myself as I found myself, but I believe that's what happened. I gained insight into one part of me while losing the other.
Time would heal my wounds, and courage would eventually merge the pieces of my soul. Before God was my everything, I was a floating vessel in search of solid ground.
I am filled day and night with a fear I cannot shake. People die every day from one last high. We saw that in December. Living in this fear is trying.
The impact of addiction on a family is substantial.
Even those closest to you cannot stop to join you in your storm. They may say, 'I am here for you,' or 'We will do this together,' but the reality is, no one is emerged in the muck with you. You are standing solo. Maybe your spouse is with you, or maybe not. Other family and friends are over there on the sidelines, cheering you on. You are covered in prayer and loved beyond expectations. However, only one remains at your side.
"You run from Jesus, and the world attacks you mercilessly. You run toward Jesus, and the world attacks you, but you are loved through mercy, forgiveness, and grace. Either direction we go, the world is there, but one direction is peace, the other chaos. Choose wisely."
Wrestling with fear stole my peace; for that, I hold many regrets. Is it possible to fear and still trust? According to this verse, we trust in God and will not fear. One depends on the other.