Isaiah 41:10 (ESV)
fear not, for I am with you; be not dismayed, for I am your God; I will strengthen you, I will help you, I will uphold you with my righteous hand.
I fell to my knees in a hospital hallway, tears streaming down my face. I leaned up against the door of my 16-year old son’s room. Inside that room, George’s body was slowly succumbing to flesh-eating bacteria, a rare form. The caring nurse was tending to his open surgical areas, and he was vomiting from the sickness. His fever was so high; the nurses brought numerous fans into his room to cool him down.
There I sat alone. My husband left for the night to be with the other children. A snowstorm blew in, and it was late, so most lights were off or dimmed. Distant from the world at that moment, I wondered where Jesus was. All I could do was talk to Him, and my words were few.
We reached a point that healing looked impossible. The caretakers tried to hide that fact on their faces, but it was visible.
“God, if you have to take my son, I will let him go.”
I will never forget the pain in those words. I was heartbroken and angry. How would God do this to us?
My faith carried me through that painful night. Jesus was there. In my surrender and questions, He swept in with comfort and gave me hope and strength. I walked back in my son’s room, picked up the Bible, and began reading whatever I opened to-the death of Jesus Christ. Our reminder of love and sacrifice, but more than that, it was a reminder of power — the story of a Savior who died and rose again. From my little reclining chair on the side of his bed, I read and held his hand over the rail. Each word breathless as I sobbed in my pain watching my son in his, and reading of the brutal death of our Lord.
Jesus got us through that night. By morning, at the last possible moment, I watched them take George to his second surgery. Hours later, they found the obstacle preventing his healing. He was blessed with another chance and has lived life appreciating it.
George doesn’t remember the night Jesus showed up to care for him, but I will never forget. When we are in our darkest moment, that is when God shines the brightest. We must remember to look up, to seek Him, and to believe.